“God is a fraud; Love His facade. God called me by name. He had me at hello. He cast me, into a vat; not of heaven, but of hell. Stuck, a prisoner of my own misery. In solitary confinement, rebellion is just a game I play. I am the fraud. I am the facade…
This one’s a jawbreaker, not going to sugarcoat it. Life is no Candyland. The only cavity, a deep inner void, filled with grit. Waiting for a pearl. Feasting, but not satiated. Starving, but not hungry. No luster.
All ‘flowers and rainbows’ while shacking up with thorny weeds and blackened storm clouds. Wearing rose-colored glasses; basking in gratitudes and platitudes. Bit by a snake-in-the-grass; rendering me a bifocaled realist.
In a power-struggle to the finish, Higher and Lower Self. The former, constantly vigilant, patiently on the watch. The latter, threatening to move in and assume permanent title. Bankrupted. A temporary take-over. Sold out from under myself. The writing is on the wall, graffitied, scarred, tattooed.
A personal challenge, where darkness casts its shadow beneath my own roof?! An unwelcome, ungrateful guest bends below the smoky spotlight. Chase the gross-polluter round and about, out of town? Let ’em stay, succumbing to potentially toxic fumes? An ‘either-or’ proposition? Or ‘both-and’? You know where I stand.
Spiritual growth and personal healing, is a fight to the birth, not for the faint of heart. My brave fellow angsties, be forewarned: ‘Embrace yourself, wherever you’re at! God willing, you will never go too far astray, for too long, alone.’
Upon my platform I must belt out: ‘Compassionate Integration!’ That, is the winning blow.
But for His amazing grace…
Thank you God for being my life-line, and never letting go, even when I lose my grip, and bite the hand that feeds me.”