Life, Seasonally

My mom is in the Winter of her life, though it is Springtime and approaching Summer here in California. Maybe that’s why she has me pruning everything to death? The fuchsia you see in the foreground of the photo below is down to stubs now, as is the tree out front.

Photo by Maggie Begley

On May 1st, my mother’s moderate dementia (of the vascular variety), took a sudden turn for the worse. Within an hour or so, she went from being as functional as she had been (under her “new normal”), to almost completely incapacitated. That left me, her live-in companion, to make a sudden shift myself…to supreme care-taker extraordinaire. Talk about shock and awe. I had never showered, dressed or tied the shoe of another person, let alone my own mother, who had just dressed herself that morning.

Of course, being the energy medicine practitioner that I am, my evaluation of the situation was that the energy had been drained in her Negative Pole because of a virus that had been making the rounds. This one hit her hard…not in a detectable physical way so much, but in a cognitive brain overload. Since we are made up of polarized life-energy, when too many items pull on a particular circuit, that circuit is depleted until power is restored to full capacity. That’s what I think happened to my mom…too much energy going to her immune system to fight the virus didn’t leave enough energy for her already compromised brain to function properly. When I took her to the Emergency Room, the doctor said, “Sometimes a patient has an infection which can mimic or induce stroke-like symptoms.” I thought to myself, “Ah Ha! We are not so far off in our thinking.” Of course, Dr. Metz and I often detect things energetically that have not made their way yet to the body’s biochemistry, physiology or structure, which means much of the time evidence of such will not show via standard medical tests. Sure enough, no evidence of infection, NOR evidence of a stroke, hmmm. I’m not gonna rule out either/both.

Now 25 days later, she still hasn’t recovered her ability to have lasting or complex conversation, nor can she read or write. She can do small tasks, and has no problem pointing out her wishes in the garden…everything needs to be pruned waaaay back (insert grand gestures here). She doesn’t seem to have the awareness that this is springtime, not winter, and is the worst time to be pruning. No lemons or camellias this year…

“To everything, a season.” ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-14

However, for good or for bad, she has become more self-aware in the last 2 weeks. She knows what is happening to her, we can talk about things in limited ways. The other day when we were sitting in the backyard, she turned to me and tearfully said, “Nothing left”. She stood to lean and peer over the fence around the home she’s lived in for 50 years, luckily I had my phone and was able to capture the moment that you see in the above photo.

She still hasn’t called me by name, just calls out “helloooo?” or “honey, that’s too hot”. She tries to express her sense of humor in physical ways, with funny faces, movements and such. Nonetheless, this is all very heart-breaking. Our sometimes overly-bonded, semi-contentious relationship has been softened as I care for her and she lets down the guards she had built up over the years. The passage of time does that to a person. It makes me fear and dread getting older, but in this case, there are still blessings to be thankful for. The more gratitude you have, the more you see. Even when you temporarily lose faith, it comes to find you. For me, it shows itself in the form of hearts…like the one you see on the bluff below.

Photo by Maggie Begley

Ironically, this photo was taken during my first guilt-full Mother’s Day off from being an attentively loyal daughter. I’ve always have made sure that my mom was totally attended to on every holiday, being that it was mostly just her and I, how could it be any different? This time though, I had her 88 year old beau come take her for the day so that they could spend some time together before he went in for a heart stent procedure, and so that I could escape for a bit. The coast is always my first choice and it never disappoints. I saw caterpillars, pelicans, seals, and whales on their migration route. It started out cloudy and cool, and by sunset it was balmy and sunny. Weather imitates Life.

My family has always been a fractured one, with a long-deceased father, and 4 estranged siblings. My dad died when my mother was 48, I was 8, and my siblings were 19-23 years old. So we also had two different families within one. We were never close, only me to my mom and vice-versa, and I felt like I was in the middle all the time of one person or another (I don’t relish the role of peacemaker, but I compulsively took it on). Anyway, this recent event with my mom, who now needs supervision/assistance 24/7 has brought my family together in unprecedented ways. We all agreed that our intention is to take the best care of our mom that we can, and heal all of our relationships as a family, working towards rebuilding trust and support of one another. God works in mysterious ways…

Photo by Maggie Begley

The above scene is one that I witnessed on a quick walk at a lake nearby our house. I stole a few moments to get out in nature the day after Mom had her incident. I felt SO overwhelmed with stress, worry and responsibility, I just wanted to kill myself! I was recapitulating the time in my life where I felt I had no choice and no support…right after my dad died when I was 8. I felt I went right back there, and became a helpless child. With some bodywork and support from Dr. Metz, I made the connection and was able to process out some huge blocks of emotion and break free from what was. I am not a child anymore, I can ask for help, receive it, and survive sudden and traumatic change in healthy ways. This is going to have a ripple effect that extends beyond this date and place. I will be forever changed by this passage in time. Life, seasonally…

On this earth plane, aside from Divine Love, Change is the one thing we can count on. Polarity is the stuff of which Life is made: Light and Dark, Liquid and Solid, Earth and Sky, Heaven and Hell, Courage and Fear, Gravity and Levity…to name a few…and all the transitions in between. Our task is to Embrace It All, Survive and Thrive, and Be Grateful for Each Lesson, as We Grow in Wisdom and Faith…

I count on God to “cook and season” me juuuuust right for maximum flavor. 🙂 (Foodie that I am, I just had to get an analogy in there some how). 🙂

Photo by Maggie Begley

About The Spirited Soul And Life-Energy Dynamics ©

I Value The Creative Force In All Its Expression: Arts & Culture, Personal Growth & Healing. I Offer Advanced Energy Medicine; Tailored Sessions Honoring Each Uniquely Spirited Soul. Distance Healing is Now My Focus.
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1 Response to Life, Seasonally

  1. Pingback: Dementia, Remembered | The Spirited Soul

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