“Puns for Bright Lights” ~ Author Unknown

  • Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
  • A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
  • Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
  • Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
  • Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.
  • A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  • Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  • Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
  • Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
  • When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
  • A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
  • What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
  • She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  • If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
  • With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
  • The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  • You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
  • Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.
  • Every calendar’s days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted – Taint yours and taint mine.
  • A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  • He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
  • A “little person” fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
  • Once you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
  • Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done.

You either love a good punny, or you don’t. Rght? Guess I’m just a goofy witticist…or a witty gooficist…I can swing both ways…

About The Spirited Soul

Valuing The Creative Force In All Its Expression: Arts & Culture, Personal Growth & Healing. Offering Advanced Energy Medicine: Tailored Sessions Honoring Each Uniquely Spirited Soul.
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