- Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
- A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
- Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
- Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
- Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.
- A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
- Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
- Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
- Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
- When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
- A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
- What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
- She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
- The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
- You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
- Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.
- Every calendar’s days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted – Taint yours and taint mine.
- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
- He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
- A “little person” fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
- Once you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
- Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Acupuncture is a jab well done.
You either love a good punny, or you don’t. Right? Guess I’m just a goofy witticist…or a witty gooficist…I can swing both ways…
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