As I sit down to write this it’s just after the Memorial Day Holiday, which here in the United States we celebrate on the last Monday in May. This Day commemorates our country’s servicemen and women who have sacrificed their lives while serving our country. By the time I actually get around to posting this piece however, for most of us it will be old news. We will be on to the next thing…but every day is a memorial day if you’ve lost someone you love, regardless of circumstance.

“IN THE MIDST OF LIFE WE ARE IN DEATH” (Photo by Maggie Begley)

Everything happens for a reason, and usually has a blessing imbedded in there somewhere. Even when it’s impossible to see, a blessing will unfold. If it’s meant to be, God will provide a way. When I pray, I ask that my intuition will be heightened so that I can HEAR and FEEL the connection of God’s grace which is forever present. I am still rattled by my own recent events, those of other loved one’s, and of strangers’ struggles. I am stricken at how hard life really is!! Unbearable at times. So much pain: mental, emotional, physical AND spiritual. I have relied on God and the angelic helpers to get me through, and they have generously responded in kind. That doesn’t mean that I don’t still have to go through my stuff, and will continue to do so, but they allow me some temporary relief so that I can carry on.

So all my fellows out there, don’t forget to ask for help, especially from our Angel and Saint allies. Remember too that we can each be earth angels to one another with the simplest of acts. My big contributions have been lots of smiles and kind words wherever I go. I haven’t had many resources for giving in the last decade, or for most of my life for that matter. I’ve always been rather sickly and reclusive, with bursts of extroversion and wellness. This last decade, I’ve sought to change that by focusing entirely on my own healing. I have felt guilty and useless at times because of it, but was always reminded of the airline attendant admonishing to passengers to “put the oxygen mask on your self before your child”. (Now I know why. You can’t give away that which you don’t have yourself, or you’ll pass out in the process and be of no help to anyone). Plus, I felt if I asked for or received help from others in my depleted state, I would feel even more guilt believing that I would never be able to reciprocate, in the midst of fighting for my own life. Good thing I seized the opportunity to save myself, or I would never have been able to ask for, receive, or reciprocate the help that I am now receiving with caregiving my mother, while still living at her home. Everything is coming into plain view…There are no accidents, and if there are, it’s how I perceive/deal them that makes the difference. The toughest times are the ones that can really be a turning point in one’s life.

I have also found, whether you are giving or receiving (two sides of the same precious treasure), regardless of one’s talents, you/someone in need can always benefit from serving/being served. In times like these, I’ve grown to realize that it is better to do than to ask, as long as you are respectful. See a need and fill it. Many who are struggling are so overwhelmed by what’s going on that they can’t or wont ask for help. You can ask first what you can do to help, and if they reply, “I don’t know”, you can then put on your angel wings and gently swoop in, do your good deed, and swoop out. It doesn’t have to be dramatic, intrusive or complicated, and it’s not a competition of who does more or better. For example, it can take as little as a half-hour, with a variety of options: If you’re a cook, well that’s the most obvious need usually; if you can drive a car and follow directions, that’s the second; if you’re a professional, provide a certain percentage for free (you have to make a living); if you’re an expert organizer, you know what to do!; if you’re a techie wiz-kid, set up the DVR to pre-program shows, or manage/update emailings; if you’re a nurturer with a soft touch, give a gentle foot massage; if you’re a homemaker, clean and do laundry; if you’re a gardener, tend and water the yard; if you love animals/kids, take the them for a walk, a wash, a play or a poop :); if you’re a hairstylist, wash/shave/cut/style away; if a seamstress, sew a button, mend a tear; a fashionista, offer a makeover; love to shop, spruce up the decor a bit; a comedian, bring on the levity; an artist, do some art therapy; a musician, bring your instrument along to lift spirits; an avid reader, pick a good piece and read aloud; a good listener, even better. I think what is as important, if not most important in all of this, is being silent. Be present to that fellow human being, accept them where they (and you) are at, acknowledge them in their bare vulnerability. At this moment, we can tap in to what it’s like to become free of ego, and can feel the Oneness that we all share….or not! This is rough business, and guaranteed, “stuff” will inevitably come up, especially if there are unresolved dynamics that come into play. Regardless, hold that space as sacred too. You will learn a lot about yourself in the process…

As quoted in the movie, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, “Everything will be alright in the end, and if it is not alright, it is not yet the end.” 🙂 Alone AND together, we will make it through this life, on to the next, and we will be the better for it. Everything will be ALRIGHT…