For Good or For Bad, Nothing is Permanent (Photo by Maggie Begley)
“Beautiful light is born of darkness, so the faith that springs from conflict is often the strongest and best.” ~ R. Tumbull
Even though I’m experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul at the moment, a doom and gloom which feels permanent :(…I need to remind myself that the Sun WILL come out tomorrow (and even if I can’t see it through the cloud-cover, that doesn’t mean it’s not there.) ‘Change happens’, and luckily, it can always be just a day, or two, away.
It’s a good sign that I am capable of being the ‘Dark Knight’ AND ‘Little Orphan Annie’, all in one ‘Swell Foop’ — as I like to say. Whether for bad or for good, it means I’ve not totally succumbed, yet, in one direction or t’other…
Except for today when I just needed to lie down, in solitude, feel sad, and have a good, well-deserved, healthy cry. And that, is okay.
A Spiritual Warrior never REALLY turns her back on the battle field, even if she gets lost along the way, falling face down in a puddle of mud, temporarily blinded, befuddled and bereft…After all, I am indeed a mystical ‘work in progress’ and tomorrow IS another day.
‘Onward >>>>> and ^^^^^ Upward!’ is my rallying cry! Just not right now…
The Spirited Soul 
I know one thing about depression. There’s nothing I can say that could help. But I can let you know that I hold you in my heart. I know this too will pass – may it not be cruel in its timing!
Thanks for letting us know. I’m sending light and love in huge bundles.
Blessings. The photo is fantastic.
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Dear Amy, Thank you so much for your tender understanding, and your huge bundles of love! That, and your photographic compliment, means alot to me.:) ❤
In the past I would have sunk much lower, now at least I have the wisdom behind me to know that things can change dramatically for the good, at any moment. (Unfortuneately, my past has shown me more of the opposite). I think now I'm really getting to the Nitty Gritty of healing my past, which feels like a blessing & a curse. This is really where Faith comes in, even though I think I've lost it. I know other people out there can relate, & I hope our discussion helps in some small way. Blessing & love to you dear Souldipper!
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p.s. I always seem to have a p.s…..
If I didn’t know better, I would just say I’m suffering from depression/hormonal shifts. That would probably be the clinical diagnosis, and not that it’s untrue, but for me it has a different quality about it now.
I do think the processing we do on a psychological level is part and parcel of our spiritual growth. The key is learning to navigate and recognize “landmarks” along the way. This gives one some perspective while groping their way through the darkness.
Surrender, Faith, Wisdom and Confidence builds through that journey, like babes learning to walk…up and down, over and over, until….we can stand tall enough to see the larger reality, without the dark clouds in our way.
I am gratified in believing that the journey of this lifetime carries forward, so nothing gets lost. For better or worse, it all will work itself out in the end.
Thank God 🙂 And I am feeling betterish today. 🙂
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I’m friends with healing tears, too, though don’t suffer the internal trials you do. You’re a spirited one…truly. Nurture the spark. Even the teeniest flame ~ attended to ~ can become a warming, comforting fire.
One of my favorite reminder quotes goes something like this: “The Great Way is easy for those who have no preferences.” It’s our expectations, our druthers, our judgments / assessments that we stumble over most often. If we can cultivate equanimity, whatever trials we may have suffered, life gets easier.
Kind thoughts to you. And if you have any lovely healing essential oils, a deep whiff may change your mood instantly. Really. I’ve witnessed others’ depression vanish in moments transforming into enthused creativity and hope….different folks, different circumstances & challenges, different oils. But the beneficial effect was undeniable.
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Dear Cynthe, Thank you so much for responding here. I love the beautiful and inspirational quote you shared. Surrendering to what we want, our expectations and maintaining equanimity, is really a challenge.
Thanks too for reminding me of essential oils. I often forget them now, because I have to be “scent free” for work, and sometimes I’m too sensitive to the aromas as well. And last night was one of those times I didn’t necessarily want to get out of my “depression”, or shift it. I wanted to embrace it as much as possible, and I had the free time to do it. I will try sniffing essential oils next time I don’t have that luxury. I think I purchased something from you called “Believe”, as well as “Peace and Calming”. They are both wonderful.
Thank you too Cynthe for your nurturing, mothering nature, friendship and support. It means so much.
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Dear Maggie, pretty brave to expose your Ultra Sensitivity and Dark Night on FB. After MANY more such initiations, I learned the portal that such “craziness” bestows -and, at last, can navigate deftly, appreciate and more fully utilize the gift that it is. As an ultra – sensitive myself , way before anyone used that term or acknowledged it as a good thing, I just assumed I was “crazy”- as the cultural model always depicted people “like me” being put away and/or characterized as crazy. I have been on the mystic path since *Always* and have survived many a Dark Night and Falling Apart ( a good thing).And now live in a world of such abundance and joy and gifts – nearly all the time. One key point was when I was in yet another Dark Night and my anam cara BFF , who was in an apprenticeship with an African shaman, told me: stay in the ashes as long as it takes – it is what initiation is all about, it is how elders become elders. they must know this passage well to help others after them.
The ups and downs used to take months, now just a day or minutes. UP… DOWN!!!, Up… Down…. up….down….up…down..up..
down.up.down.updownupdwonupdown updwnupdwnupdnupdnupaaaaaauuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm
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Marsea, Thank you so much for contributing to the conversation here and exposing your “Sensitive Soul”. You are an inspiration and a role model. I love that message to “stay in the ashes as long as it takes”. You made me think of the “Wounded Healer”, thus my next post. Blessings to you for spreading hope to all of us beautiful, wonderful, “crazies”. 🙂
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